yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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