Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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