why didn't you poke me back
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Its about making memories worth repressing
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
