When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
