I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
