I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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