I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
