I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
