why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
