Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
