We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Randomize
