Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
