my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
