oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
