I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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