i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
