Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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