Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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