I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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