I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
