and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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