I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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