Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
