physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
