hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
