remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
