And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
