the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He did a backflip because drugs
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