Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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