He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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