Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
how does that bad decision feel?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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