Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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