My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
