Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
