it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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