Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
