i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
