Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
