I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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