Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
