i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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