Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
