sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
