Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
