You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the day after is always just damage control
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
