i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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