So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
