I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm too high and old for this...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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