Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
