..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
