i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
