but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
